Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
