If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
