It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
