Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
