We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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