dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
What a dumb baby whore.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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