What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
