it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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