im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
