don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
