my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude i'm inner monologue high
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
