I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
