If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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