Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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