we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
