it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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