So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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