think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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