Your face is a jimmy john
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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