fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
