Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
