; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize