how can u be prego again
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
