Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize