im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
