I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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