Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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