i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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