I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
