tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
