Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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