Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
