Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
