How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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