Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
