hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
