We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
3 2 1 whiskey
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
