i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
