accomplished twins. life is a go
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
