I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
