Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize