I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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