just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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