Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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