what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
