you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
