My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i may or may not be watching the land before time
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
