It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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