Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
