take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
