so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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