It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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