You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Even my vagina gasped.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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