You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Too much gin, very little bucket
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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