this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
there is glitter all over my balls
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
