We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We got so high we made milksteak
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize