nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I lost the right to judge tonight
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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