i just sent this text using only my big toe
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
