WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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