any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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