that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
