How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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