that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
