he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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