I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
