if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
