When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
