Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
