I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
