Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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