I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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