i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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