I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
