hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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