come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
