Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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