We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
