i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
