TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
