STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
